I love the words of the preacher of Ecclesiastes:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
I think that in His divine wisdom, God knew a team of two people was needed to raise children in the fear of God.
My husband and I have been married for five years, a time of complete blessing. In the beginning of our marriage, we said we’d wait three years before having kids, but God’s plans are higher than our own. Noah, our firstborn, was born one month after our first year anniversary…just a little sooner than we thought!
With the arrival of our children, my husband and I have learned a lot about teamwork. I think this has been a great blessing because the responsibility does not fall on just one person. Today, I want to share with you three principles that have helped us.
1.We discipline together
As a couple, we came into agreement regarding certain parameters we wanted to establish in our home. Discipline cannot be effective if one of the parents is not firm in moments when correction is needed. Our children know that what dad says is the same thing that mom will say, and what mom says, is backed up by dad. When both parents are firm and in agreement, discipline can be much more effective.
2.We contribute in different ways
For example, Rich usually needs to be at church very early for soundcheck, and he knows that it is a lot of work to get two boys under the age of four ready early in the morning. Before he leaves, he helps me prep the diaper bag, the snacks, and Noah’s food for the day. These little things help lighten the load and are a great help. In the morning, Rich takes Noah to school, which is 40 minutes from where we live, and I pick him up in the afternoon. In doing this, we both put in our part, because we understand that it is both of our responsibilities. I think it’s also very important for the kids to see both parents involved in the kids’ activities.
3.We express love and affection
The way the husband treats the wife will speak louder than a thousand words, and it will be the model the children will follow. Many times, it is actually the way they will treat their siblings. It is important that the children do not become the center of attention in the home. The couple needs time to nourish their relationship; time alone without the kids to strengthen their communication, and get out of the daily routine. This helps parents recharge and sets an example for the children.
This is what I saw the 24 years I lived at home with my parents. Their marriage has always impacted me because of how they’ve nourish their friendship daily. After a long day, they would sit and chat about their day, or talk over coffee in the morning. Their relationship created made each of us desire a marriage like the one we saw at home. Today, the respect and harmony we live at home, in its vast majority, is thanks to our parents who determined to take care of their marriage and be an example in their deeds. For this I am forever grateful.
It is possible to raise up godly homes! God is a God of three generations, which is why when He brings two people together, He is not just thinking about them, but their future generations.